Adventure in Costco

It starts with my putting the car in park, looking in the back and realizing that I forgot Hume’s shoes. No problem, I thought, Lilith can carry him. We get out of the car and I give Kyson my Costco card. “This is a big responsibility “ I tell him , “because I can’t get my glasses without this card”. I thought keeping him focused on the card would give him a job for the trip and he would not get bored.  We walk into the store and Lilith puts Hume down, Hume immediately turns around and runs out of the store. I quickly turn around and so does Lilith, we chase Hume out of the store and he runs to the shopping carts. You can’t go to Costco without getting a shopping cart. This makes sense and it will be easier to keep up with him if he is in a basket. I say “Great idea little guy, let’s put you in the basket” . Hume helps us get the basket out of the area, Lilith lifts him to put him into the cart and he starts wailing. “NO! NO BASKET!” Okay…he doesn’t want to ride in the basket, he wants to push the cart. Not a problem, we can still keep up with him if he is pushing it. We turn and walk back into the store and that’s when I realize that Kyson is nowhere to be found. Lilith looks at me and says “Should we go and look for him?” I reply with a no  “he will learn a valuable lesson about paying attention if he wanders around the store for a few minutes thinking that he is lost.” I stand in line to pick up my glasses and quickly realize that Kyson has my Costco card and I cannot get my glasses without it. I stand there, thinking. If I go looking for Kyson I could miss him, better to just stay here and wait until he remembers why we came to Costco and finds the optical department.  A few minutes later Kyson walks around the corner, hands me my Costco card and says, “You guys just disappeared.” I grab the card and say thank you because I figure that’s the safest thing that I can say.

Kyson decides to look at a movie while I get my glasses. Lilith goes with him and Hume follows. Perfect! I can see them watching the movie, but they are not in the way of me getting my glasses. It’s at that precise moment that Hume decides to add a little spice to the morning. He starts to wander away from the other two. I see him leaving and notice that the older kids are busy watching the movie and not watching Hume. I stand up. We make eye contact. He looks at me and makes two small steps away from the other kids. I take a step towards him. It is at this moment that he turns and starts sprinting away. I quickly pick up my speed and hold Sol a bit tighter. I get close enough to talk to Hume and tell him that if he stops running now he will not have to sit in the basket.  He looks at me and starts walking. I suggest that we walk back to the other kids, just as I get close enough to grab his hand he takes off again. Great! Okay so he is sprinting towards a wall of people pushing their shopping carts and I know I am not going to catch him before he makes it to them so I say  “HUME STOP!” He keeps running and starts his ninja basket avoidance maneuvers. I am no ninja so I quickly run into every basket that he dodges. It doesn’t help that Costco is full of angry old people who are giving me dirty looks for having a ninja toddler. Then a miracle happens. A retired ninja grandmother sees Hume coming and uses her cart as a weapon. She quickly blocks the little escape artist. She looks at him, gives him a large smile showing all of her teeth and says “Gotcha!”  I catch up and look at her, she smiles at me and says “You’re gonna need a rope for that one.” I agree, scoop him up and give her a big smile as I walk away and say Thanks. I am now drenched in sweat and carrying two babies back to the optical department because I still have not picked up those glasses. As I get close to the area where Lilith and Kyson are still watching their movie Lilith looks up, sees me and says “How did you get way over there.” I told her that she just missed all of the action and ask her to help me put Hume in the basket, because he IS going in the basket this time whether he likes it or not. We get to the basket, I pass Sol to Lilith and pick Hume up so that I can put him the basket. Hume starts screaming and it’s at this moment that the lady behind the counter informs me that she is ready.  Okay. I do the knee chop on toddler and give her my Costco card because there is no way that I letting this opportunity to get this done pass me by.  The moment that Hume is in the seated position he starts screaming and arching his back to prevent me from fastening the safety belt on the cart. I  hold him down to make sure that he does not jump out of the cart and follow the woman to the area to try on my new glasses. Lillith is walking with us and holding Sol, Hume is screaming in the basket and Kyson is still watching the movie, oblivious to anything that is going on with us. The Costco worker gets my glasses and pulls them out for me…I quickly put them on and say thanks and try to walk away. I don’t care if the glasses fit, I just want to get out of there. She looks at me and says we need to check to see if the glasses fit…FINE! I sit down and it’s in this moment that I hear Lilith say help. Hume has managed to get out of the safety belt and jump out of the basket, onto his sister’s neck. Fortunately she did not drop either baby and I quickly ran to her rescue. I try to  get Hume to let go of his sister’s neck…he refuses and clings for dear life. I struggle mightily and eventually pull him off and check to see if Lilith and Sol are okay. They are. I take Hume, sit down and look at the Costco worker who looks at me and smiles and asks if my glasses fit okay. She then asks if they feel okay around my ears. I say yes, they feel fine can I please go now. She reminds me to always use water when washing my glasses I say thanks “Can I go now. She says yes. Looks at me, looks at the kids and says “Have a great day with the gang.” I smile and walk away, tell Kyson that we are done and sprint to the car as quickly as my little legs can carry me. After everyone is in their car seat, I sit in the driver’s seat for a moment, take a few deep breaths, and laugh. I remember when picking up a pair of glasses was easy.